Revealing the Source of the Sense 'I Am'

"From the body you get the knowledge of 'I Am'. In this process you become more and more subtle. When you are in a position to witness the knowledge 'I Am', you have reached the highest. In this way you must try to understand, and the seeds of knowledge will sprout in you"

SRI NISARGADATTA MAHARAJ

Revealing the source of the sense 'I Am' lies at the heart of nondual exploration. With gentle earnestness and repetition, this is a simple and powerful movement in revealing the most fundamental aspect of existence -the pure awareness of being that underpins all experiencing. It is everything that the mind is seeking in the activity of 'being in the world' - striving, seeking, problem solving, and pushing against life.

This revealing requires two inextricably linked points of inquiry:

1. Feeling into the sense 'I am'

2. Inquiring into what this sense is appearing IN.

If there is suffering, frustration, anxiety, fear, loneliness, or doubt coloring your experience of living, or a need to recognise a sense of meaning and profound truth - exploring the sense 'I Am', recognising it's source, and percolating your experience in this is a wonderful path to take.

I giggle a little as I write 'wonderful' - it really doesn't scratch the surface. Rather, it completely transcends it. Right here, as ordinary experience - a release from incessant thought and bodily tension into a wide open, crystal clear clarity, buzzing with boundless aliveness, love, and beauty and the recognition that this is what I Am.

Subtler than space, no in-between. This is true nature.

Hold this in your heart.

Devote yourself to it.

It's right here.

Its you.

 "What is actually occurring in your experience, the prime characteristic of experience is that it is present and this presence happens to know itself"

PETER BROWN

You are here, knowing experience.

There is only ever experience, and you only ever know your experience. Check this out now for yourself. Has there ever been a time in your life when this hasn't been the case?

Look into this now.

So what is the nature of experience? This fundamental taste of life that is right here and always has been? and what is the nature of the 'me' or 'I' that knows this? Another fundamental aspect of life, the substratum of experiencing upon which all experiencing is dependent.

Indeed, is this 'I' that is knowing experience really 'another' aspect at all?

Do you find the knowing of experience standing somewhere separate from experience itself?

Could they be one and the same?

Feel into this now.

Experiencing can't be without the knowing of it - without the 'I' that knows it - and without experiencing...the 'I' has nothing to know.

Who's 'I' is this? What's 'I' is this? What is knowing experience? Where is experience coming from?

Could the fundamental heart of experiencing be this knowing, knowing itself AS experiencing?

Contemplate this now.

You only ever see this now.

Read this, and feel this, again:

I. Only. Ever. See. This. Now.

The Sense 'I Am'

"The liberation of consciousness if you understand consciousness fully, you will know the reflection of the Absolute reality in the food essence body. With this knowledge, you will observe the liberation (moksha) of consciousness. Worship beingness. Whatever you see will vanish, including the news that 'I Am'. Worship your beingness, your Guru, your God, one-pointedly. Release duality with your Self and know there is no other protector than That."

SRI NISARGADATTA MAHARAJ

The sense 'I Am' is the most primal of all experiences, the first affirmation of existence that precedes thought, emotion, and sensory perception. It is the recognition of being alive and aware, without which no experience would be possible.

How often do you pay attention to this?

How often in your day to day experiencing do you give attention to the primal, fundamental experience of existence itself? And the knowing of it?

To recognise the source of 'I Am', the movement is to look inward, beyond the layers of personality, beyond emotions and thoughts, to the very core of consciousness itself. This is an inward collapsing of attention to the center of our being.

 "You discover, 'Oh, I am, what is present here, me, my universe, everything, is this unutterable transcendental reality, this inconceivable infinity"

PETER BROWN

The realization that arises from this inquiry is NOT an intellectual understanding but an experiential awakening OUT OF the intellect INTO the infinite nature of our true self. This is what 'waking up' points to. In the same way that we wake up from dreaming in sleep and say 'oh that was a dream'...this happens here, now, from this 'waking state', which is in fact the dream of the infinite one.

We awaken from the dream of 'I am (insert name here) in the world' to 'I am the infinite one reality in myself'.

It is likely that, before being pointed to this question, focus and attention is pulled towards the 'what' is happening in experience, and what is coming 'next' within a constant stream of mental activity which feels like a pushing and pulling on, or feeling lost in, experience as a separate entity trying to navigate 'life out there', from a location of 'being in here'. You might not even be noticing an 'out there' at all - from the perspective of being 'inside the head'. This is the primary duality in I am-ness (your Self), which Nisargadatta points to. 'Here' and 'there', 'me' and 'the world' is the primary illusion from which psychological, social, and emotional suffering births.

Check out in your experience now where the sense of you (I Am) seems to be?

Do you feel like you are 'in the head', maybe located 'behind the eyes'?

Does this move around?

Is there a sense of 'me-ness' in the throat, chest, or belly?

Where does it FEEL like you are looking at this sense of 'me' from?

Does it move around?

Or is it silent, still, and all pervading?

From where are you viewing 'the world'?

Look into this.

When we feel into the sense of existence itself, with repetition and earnestness we find that much of mental activity and associated action is happening in seeking this sense of existence and experiencing itself, and the myriad qualities inherent to this. Freedom, bliss, connection and deep intimacy, peace, and happiness to name a few. All simply here as the simple sense of being. Undeniably here. Undeniably real.

Meditation as the nature of life

Meditation is a key tool in exploring the 'I Am', but it doesn't need to be restricted to sitting on a cushion with eyes closed. Recognising meditation as the nature of experiencing, that is, life knowing itself - 'I Am Here knowing experience' and FEELING the sense of this primal fact throughout life's unfolding aligns us with a way of being that is the fundamental way of all being, all ways, all life, all existence, and in doing so - with abidance in this sense of presence/being - an ever deepening revealing into the nature of reality - this infinite self. As this abiding offers forth a more and more interesting and deepening quality of experiencing, to paraphrase the words of spiritual teacher Peter Brown - it does the heavy lifting.

There is a simultaneous deepening and revealing into the true nature of experience, this ever unfolding mystery, and a natural disengagement from the automatic responses of the mind to external stimuli - gradually turning our attention to the internal more fundamental sense of being and an unraveling of the identity structure of the sense of a separate self. This, with repeated abidance 'turns around' so to speak, and it is recognised that 'the inside' is 'everywhere'. The background of awareness is revealed as the foreground of all experience and 'the world' 'falls back'. The world doesn't disappear, but as the world is seen as the contents of 'mind', it takes its rightful place as the stunning shimmer of the source of life's expression - symbolic of, but not conclusive of, its nature. The conclusion is the unspeakable being as source itself.

Thus a practice of placing attention in being/presence/awareness helps to refine our awareness, making the subtle textures of the 'I Am' presence more discernible.

Identity - Recognizing the illusory (separate) self

One of the major revelations is recognizing that the individual self, or ego, is a construct—an illusion maintained by the mind.

"Experience plainly and nakedly reveals what it actually is, if one looks and sees unbiasedly"

PETER BROWN

By observing our experience without the filters of personal biases, layers of interpretation, and conditioned responses, we can see that the separate self sense is just one of the many appearances within the vast expanse of 'I Am'.

Noticing the source of the sense 'I Am' is simple and intricate in the same instance. Transforming our understanding of self and reality. The implications of this are indescribable.

When what we thought we knew about self and reality is experientially turned upside down, back to front, and inside out, the associated proliferation of problems, fears, and doubts are impacted profoundly.

It is a homecoming. A return to essence, and inherent perfection of our being, and an awakening to the boundless potential that lies within the simple realization of 'I Am'.

"This consciousness is one and present in all, as it is all-pervasive. In reality, the same is the Self. We must take an oath and should have conviction about our true nature. This itself is Yoga. Everybody is eligible to realise the Self"

SRI NISARGADATTA MAHARAJ

POINTERS

1. Meditative Observation: Firstly, simply notice how much of your experience is being filled with the thoughts about what is happening, what did happen, or what is going to happen next, and how much or how little attention you are giving to the actual felt sense of being here now.

2. Pay attention to the sense of space inside the body. Place attention in this. Rest here as often as you possibly can.

3. Regularly practice the natural meditation focused on the sense of 'I Am', in daily life, observing without attachment to thoughts or identities.

4. Inquiry and Contemplation: Engage in self-inquiry by questioning, "What am I?" beyond the labels and roles assumed in daily life. Just ask the question. Hold it in your heart. Love the question itself. Don't try to answer.

5. Integration into Daily Life: Bring the awareness of 'I Am' into everyday activities, noticing the presence that pervades all actions and interactions.